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Saturday, April 9, 2011

20 Ridiculous Job Interview Questions you might encounter

Some major US companies have ridiculous questions given to job interviewees. What response will you give if you were asked these job interview questions?

1. "Given the numbers 1 to 1,000, what is the minimum number of guesses needed to find a specific number, if you are given the hint 'higher' or 'lower' for each guess you make?" – Facebook

Pinoy Answer: “Ma’am....I think I would just apply at Friendster.”

2. "Using a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself on how weird you are." -- Capital One

Pinoy na sosyal Answer: Interviewee – “First off, we need to qualify what is weird. Like, calling Mariah Carey white is kinda weird cuz .. well her bum and boobies are genetically black. So, I’d say that’s a 2 in the scale. Then talking to your hubby on the cellphone while walking and holding hands with him in the mall is really kinda weird (Hoy! Meron nga nyan no! Artista pa nga eh!) cuz..well why don’t you just sit down and get a nice location where the signal is strong? So I say that’s about a 4 in the scale. But what is really weird is passing an ordinance asking your co-villagers to require adults of sane mind (imagine if you are a middle age judge or the Health Secretary of the country or (gasp) Lea Salonga), to seek prescription first from a family physician before they can buy a condom. I mean, really now. That’s not just weird but bizarre. I mean that’s giving the physician undue advantage cuz they can just very well prescribe themselves condom anytime they want. Not all doctors are that horny, no? Now that’s weird ain’t it? I say definitely that’s a ten!” (With garalgal voice sa galit)

Interviewer – “So how would you rate yourself then?”

Interviewee – (in Raging Bull Robert de Niro tone) “You talking to me? YOU TALKING TO ME?”

3. "Explain quantum electrodynamics in two minutes, starting now." -- Intel

Pinay Colegiala Answer 1: “Can I use my newly bought Ipad 2 and Google that? Hey can i add you to my Facebook while I’m at it?”

Madayang Answer 2: “Sure I can answer this but can you tell me the names of the Kardashian sisters while explaining quantum electrodynamics in 1 minute?”

Answer 3: “Tell me if my time is up.”

4. "How many balloons would fit in this room?" – PricewaterhouseCoopers

Answer 1:”One big hot air balloon? Wrong ba? Bulong mo na lang ang sagot kuya. Pinoy ka naman di ba? Kapampangan? Pangingalte! Mangan tana! Oreni la reng adwang regalo para keka!”

5. "If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?" -- Goldman Sachs

Answer: “I won’t. I’ll just wait till they put mango, banana and ice. Sarap kaya ng smoothie.”

6. "You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?" -- Epic Systems

Answer 1: “Sorry I’m allergic to flowers. Next question please.” (Epic Failure talaga)

Answer 2: “NONE. I’m a vegetarian and I love to eat flowers.”

7. "What is the philosophy of martial arts?" -- Aflac

Answer: “.....(cricket sounds).....Ahhh...Ahhhh.... Wo xiang qu xi shou jian. Ce suo zai nar?” (translation – I want to go to the restroom. Where is the toilet?”)

8. "Explain to me what has happened in this country during the last 10 years." -- Boston Consulting

Answer: (In Japanese accent) Before, Imerda Marcos, rob us. Then Erap rob us. Now, GMA rob us. They ohr rob us. Shai ma sen! Hai! ”

9. "If you could be any superhero, which one would you be?" -- AT&T

Answer: Lastikman. So that when I use condom, it would still feel like skin to skin contact.” (Slurp!

10. "How do you weigh an elephant without using a scale?" -- IBM

Fat Girl Answer 1: “Eh bat di na lang natin pabayaan yung elephant? Sya nga ayaw nyang malaman weight nya eh.”

Pinagisipan na Answer 2: “Pull him gently on a pool of water and get the volume of the displaced water. Every mL of displaced water is directly proportional to gram weight of the elephant.” (Oy! Hahaha! I saw you rolling your eyes!)

11. "If you had 5,623 participants in a tournament, how many games would need to be played to determine the winner?" -- Amazon

Answer: Interviewee -“Anu muna yung game nila? Saka,bakit 5,623 ang participants? Napakawhimsical naman nyan. Why not 8,639? And wala bang referee dyan?”

Interviewer – “GUARD! GUARD!!!

12. "How many bricks are there in Shanghai? Consider only residential buildings." --Deloitte Consulting

Answer: “Shet! Can I just spell Chrysanthemum? Or can I just do interpretative dancing? Ano ba tong napasukan ko? Gusto ko lang naman magdala ng Shabu sa Shanghai.”

13. "You have five bottles of pills. One bottle has 9 gram pills, the others have 10 gram pills. You have a scale that can be used only once. How can you find out which bottle contains the 9 gram pills?" --eBay

Answer 1: “By looking at the label? The 9 gram pills are smaller?” (getting frantic) “Boss! Punta lang muna ako Mercury pwede?”

14. "What is your fastball?" -- Ernst & Young

Answer 1: “You ever heard of Tim LIncecum? Well...He’s my neighbor! Ha!”

15. "How would you market ping pong balls if ping pong itself became obsolete? List many ways, then pick one and go into detail." -- Microsoft

Answer 1: “I will call them Fortune balls with an option to be attached to the arms of the waving cats that you see in Chinese stores.”

Answer 2: “I will gently put a hole on them and put them on some cacti instead of using egg shells.”

Answer 3: “I will build a raft made of millions of pingpong balls” Ay teka! Oo nga no? Hmmmm. Brazil here I come!

16. "How many smartphones are there in New York City?" -- Google

Answer: “Only when phones can tell why KC refuses to see Papa P’s true sexuality will I consider them smartphones.” Touche! (Gawin bang truth commission ang smartphone?)

17. "You are in charge of 20 people. Organize them to figure out how many bicycles were sold in your area last year." -- Schlumberger

Answer: “Ok. Who wants to be my assistant?”

18. "Why do you think only a small percentage of the population makes over $125,000 a year?" -- New York Life

Answer: “(Hic) Why, do you make $125,000 a year? (Hic) Kala mo naman to (hic) kung makatanong parang ganon kalaki kita nya. Hindi ako lashing! (Hic)”

19. "You have three boxes. One contains only apples, one contains only oranges, and one contains both apples and oranges. The boxes have been incorrectly labeled so that no label accurately identifies the contents of any of the boxes. Opening just one box, and without looking inside, you take out one piece of fruit. By looking at the fruit, how can you immediately label all of the boxes correctly?" -- Apple

Answer: “Just label one box Elton John then another George Michael and the last Troy Aikman. They’re all fruits.”

20. "How many ball bearings, each one inch in diameter, can fit inside a 747 aircraft?" -- SAIC

Serious Answer: If the approximate diameter of the plane is 20 feet, then I have a 10 foot radius, I can't remember the exact formula for area of a circle but if I made four squares of 10 feet and dived by 3 that would be a close guess. So 10 feet = 120 inches x 120 inches = 14,400 square inches x 3 = 43,000 square inches. So for every inch of volume I can fit 43,000 bearings. My best guess on the length of the plane is 200 feet, so 43,000/inch = ~500,000/foot. Therefore I would estimate that 100 million bearings could fit inside the skin of a completely empty 747. (Hindi ko to ginoogle! Hindi!!! Pinagisipan ko to!) Bwahahaha!

Please join in and answer some. Have fun guys!